The Wilderness - Chapter Two

Chapter Two:

It was nearly two days later when Sarah, her brother and the others dared to emerge from their underground refuge. They had huddled the entire time in the darkness, listening to the savage shrieks of their enemies and the terrified screams of the Shataiki’s innocent victims. Numb shock had encompassed everyone into an almost unconscious state of mental awareness. No one understood what was going on.

The sounds of massacre continued on for several hours at first. Then what followed afterwards was a lot of thumping and scratching as the horrible black bats attempted to break into their small shelter. But by the first night, the sounds faded into silence. An unearthly silence that filled their hearts with fear...fear, something they had never experienced before. Elyon’s name was whispered continually in prayer for their deliverance and salvation. But no answer came.

Then the second day had come, but no one had been brave enough to open the door. They ate of the fruit that was stored around them in jars. It gave them some renewed strength. Night fell again and the next morning Daniel announced he was going out.

“If everything’s seems safe, I’ll come back. If I don’t...well...” he let his words trail, their meaning clear.

Some of the older men began to argue among themselves, reluctant to let a boy go in what should be their place. Never had Sarah seen anyone argue, but she also strangely disagreed and joined her voice into the protest.

But Daniel ignored them and ran up the stairs flinging the door aside before anyone could stop him.

Sarah sucked in her breath at this act of defiance. The young had always before respected the older on all things. She moaned as a filmy gray light flooded into their cramped space. Everything was so wrong....

Daniel’s body was momentarily silhouetted against this light and then the door fell back into place. Everyone held their breath, expecting to hear the Shataiki’s familiar shriek.

Nothing.

Sarah held a sleeping Rachelle, exhausted from crying and hunger across her lap. One arm was wrapped around Valerie who was curled beside her in the dirt.

Please, let them be gone, Elyon, Sarah prayed, bending of her small daughters. Her mind instantly shot to the image of her older daughter Keira, bouncing on her father’s shoulders, both laughing. Caleb’s eyes locked with hers immersed with Elyon’s love.

Let them be alive....she pleaded silently, tears falling down her cheeks.

Then Daniel’s voice jerked her back to reality. The door flew open, letting in the light once more and his smiling face appeared.

“Its safe...everything’s gone!”

The group slowly stood, stretching cramped muscles and filed up the steps. Sarah didn’t quite know what her brother’s words meant until she emerged into the light. Her hand flew to her mouth.

Everything was gone! Shataiki, the people, trees, flowers, grass, animals...Roush. A barren, black wasteland surrounded them in no way resembling the world they had left only days before. The village was empty and desolate, the houses no longer glowed their radiant colors. A gray-like ash seemed to have settled on everything, sucking away any life.

The group of refugees stood in grief, their heads bowed, a deep heaviness settling over them.

Some fell to their knees weeping, others just continued in their numb state of shock, walking aimlessly through the barren remains of their once beautiful village. Valerie began to sob as she gazed at the unfamiliarity around her. Daniel quickly scooped her up, trying to comfort her, his own anguish evident through the downward turn of his mouth.

“There has to be survivors,” Sarah said hopefully. Those nearest looked at her in disbelief. Daniel shook his head and pointed down what had once been the main street. Dark wide stains of blood lay scattered in every direction, covering the dirt.

“No bodies,” her brother murmured, dazed.

Sarah whirled around, staring across the village, the hard, cold truth settling in. There were no bodies...

“Elyon!” someone wailed. Sarah slowly sank to her knees, cradling Rachelle, closing her eyes to block out the miserable scene. She could feel her strength leaving her, a strange weakness settling throughout her bones. The unfamiliar desire to kill something surge through her mind. That’s what she would do to the Shataiki again if she ever saw one.

She heard a small exclamation from Daniel and her eyes slowly opened, glancing towards him.

He was holding Valerie at arms length and look of revulsion covering his features.

“Her eyes, Sarah....her eyes,” he stammered.

Sarah stumbled to her feet, lurching towards him and then stopped short as his own eyes met hers.

They were like glass marble...the clear cerulean blue had vanished. Her eyes flew to Valerie’s. The toddler’s were exactly the same, the beauty gone.

She felt Daniel gasp and knew her eyes revealed the same truth. She shifted Rachelle’s sleeping form. The child’s eyes were closed in blissful sleep. But Sarah knew that under those soft eye-lids her baby girl’s eyes had changed as well. She heard the upraised voice of the others and knew they weren’t the only ones discovering this new phenomenon. The voices were filled with the now familiar sensation...fear. Some were touching and scratching their exposed bodies.

Sarah glanced at her and Daniel’s arms. Dry as a bone. Thin lines were breaking out across the skin.

Daniel spun around,” We must get to the lake!”

He took off running. Sarah followed. Elyon was at the lake...Elyon was the lake. He could save them. He could explain what was happening.

Several others shouted in confusion after them, wondering where they were going, but realization soon took hold and Sarah heard pounding feet behind them.

Ten minutes later Sarah, Daniel and five others skidded to a stop at the banks of the great wide lake, the largest in the world...but now only a small pond. The great waterfall had dwindled to a trickle; the edges of the water were growing stagnant, and murky. But the center was still clear and sparkling.

Daniel screamed in panic and plunged in, still holding Valerie. Sarah followed.

The relief and pure delight was instant. Peace washed over them. Their terror dissipated and strength returned to their veins. They gulped the water into their bodies, desperate for its life-sustaining source.

Some one screamed as the water began to recede, first to their waists, then their knees then there ankles, sinking into a muddy ditch.

Sarah stumbled back to the dry beach, moaning. Glancing at everyone’s eyes, she realized their color had returned. That was good. But what would they do now?

The others joined her on the beach.

“Go to the nearest crossing,” said a voice above their heads.

Everyone pivoted to find the familiar comforting sight of a white Roush. Balin was his name, the wise one assigned to their tribe.

He looked wearied and burdened with a thousand cares of the world.

“What has happened, Balin?” asked one of the men, a broad-shoulder man by the name of Marcus.

“Evil has been given permission to release itself. Tanis drank the enemy’s water and ate their fruit.”

It was the “truth” no one had been willing to speak. But now coming from the Roush’s mouth, they realized finally that it was real.

Tanis...the father of mankind. The firstborn of the tribes had fallen. What had lured him there? How could he have desired such evil?

Sarah didn’t know if they’d ever know.

“What’s at the crossing?” she said weakly, gazing up at the white bird.

“There is refuge beyond the river deep in the desert towards the southeast,” Balin pointed in that direction with one of his wings,” but you must go through the Black forest to reach it.”

“Is that our only hope?” Daniel asked.

The Roush sadly nodded his head,” Evil has been released. It’s already infected your hearts...there is no escape. Gather what fruit you can and do not drink any water but Elyon’s. Perhaps you will make it. Many have already been taken. But if you remain here, all will die.”

Sarah held Rachelle tightly to her chest.

“How many survived?” she asked in choked voice.

The Roush’s kind, tired eyes swung to hers.

“Very few.”

She read the answer to her question between the lines. She began to weep softly.

“Hurry, there isn’t much time. Gather the others,” he urged them and then lifting his wings Balin flew away.

Marcus began to take charge, hurrying them back the village. Sarah stumbled along behind Daniel near the rear, vision blurred.

At village, they were surprised with shouts of joy when they discovered that more survivors had appeared, coming up out of basements and the houses. Two or three here...one maybe there. The biggest group was ten men and women who’d taken refuge in the Thrall. Among them were some of the village leaders. Ciphus and Jeremiah. Quickly everyone gathered, now numbering nearly fifty and Marcus informed them of the drying up lake and Balin’s words.

After a lengthy discussion, which involved several opinions, and consisted of one very determined group who wished to remain at the village and rebuild, they finally came to the decision to follow Balin’s instructions. Those who had disagreed, quickly realized how foolish their hopes had been. Like Balin had said, they would die if they remained here, in the charred remains of the once breathtaking forest.

Quickly the people gathered together any fruit they could find. Some had already rotted away, turning into ash, but some, like what had been in basements, was still good. Collecting these in several huge sacks they set off towards the south....the river and the crossing. It would be a nearly two day journey.

Sarah held her breath as she glanced towards the skies. What would they do if the Shataiki suddenly appeared again? She would never be able to shake the horrifying image of the swirling black mass as long as she lived. Following the others into the charred, dead forest of leafless trees, she prayed they would make it to the river. And as for the black forest?

...she doubted they would live through that.

Forgotten

Poem inspired by my Multicultural class this semester! This was my reflection response to our first unit!

The train stopped

when the tracks ended

it dumped me here

the child without a father

whose mother no one loves

with skin that no one understands

eyes that no one sees

lips that no one will kiss

feet that no one will clean

No one will tell me who I am

I don’t know how to tell myself

I’ve tried

over and over

but the heat inside

won’t let go

it cheers me on

and jerks me back

like puppet on a string

with a painted wooden face

the real boy was never meant to be

Memories tug at my membranes

massaging the tissues of my insides

mocking my stolen innocence

and shattered hopes

and then persistently fade

like black and white photographs

Tomorrow could be their last breath

before they are gone

like my grandparents who left

me for some place in the clouds

I grew up when

no one was watching

except the eyes of a cruel god

and empty moonbeams

I tried

I really did

but no one looked

even the girl

the one I thought would know

but the blood on her hands

matched the blood of others

and I had to cover my ears

to stop the screaming

my white rose

fell long ago

crushed under

the weight of heavy boots

and careless hands

pierced by a million

little lies that burned

every page of my journal

I might die today

but you won’t watch

because the blood

in my veins

is not yours

Year 2080

I wrote this for my final project in my fiction class last semester!...

I have lived longer than any seventeen-year-old girl should be allowed to live.

Today when I stepped out my front door onto the green lawn of our village square, I knew I had lived one day longer than I wanted to.

He was standing there. It was Jacob, the boy from my dreams, who wore the ripped jeans and tattered green army cap. I blinked and grabbed my jacket from behind the front door. I hurried off the porch and walked straight past him, not looking, not even glancing. If he was real, then I knew he would follow. If he wasn’t, then I was too far gone to care.

I was eleven-years-old when the dreams first began. The village physician had more aptly diagnosed them as night terrors. I would wake up at my parents’ bedroom door every time, screaming in fear and covered in sweat from head to toe. My gentle and docile parents were driven out of their minds with worry, trying cure me of whatever “disease” they feared was afflicting me. No herbal remedies or hypnosis or prayers or dream catchers seemed to do the trick. It was beyond ironic that though our village existed in perfect peace and harmony, we never seemed to escape from our violent past; a past that was not only our own, but also the past of the entire world.

As a child I was schooled in depth about the history of the past. It was expected that I know every detail, every one wrong choice and every consequence. It must never be repeated, ever again. This was drilled and hammered into my very existence with such a penetrating and forceful significance that it seemed at times to fill every corner and inch of my subconscious. I wondered if anyone could truly move forward into the future without the weight of our awful history keeping them frozen in time. I asked my instructor Mr. Hammerstein once, “ Why do we exist?” He told me we were here to create a better future then the past that we destroyed.

I’m not sure I agree with him, or maybe something is wrong with me. Maybe my dreams are a curse I have been given, a way for the past to hold onto me with a tenacious grip of terror. Everything I have been taught has fueled the nightmares. The past reaches out for me with tight, tangled claws. What better future am I creating if I can never live in it? What if I can never be free from fear of the past?

There is only one hope in every nightmare, and it is Jacob. His blue eyes haunt me as he holds out his hand and begs for me to grab it. I never have; I always wake up gasping for air.

I walk towards the forest behind our dairy barns. I can hear his footsteps following me, crunching on the dead leaves that have begun to fall from the trees. He cannot be real. My mind is playing tricks. The dreams are crashing into my reality. They are merging the line between sleep and wakefulness. I have learned to numb myself, to ignore the dreams and to hold back my screaming. I do this for the sake of my family, my village and my own sanity. I thought I had mastered it. I thought I was strong enough until now.

I did not turn around until the village was hidden behind the trees. I glared at Jacob as he stopped five feet in front of me. My eyes met his, but I refused to be the first to speak.

“You don’t believe I am real, do you, Havyn? ” he asked slowly.

“That you even know to ask me is not encouraging my belief in your reality,” I retorted cynically.

“Well, whether you believe or not now does not affect what you will believe.” He stuck out his right hand,” I’m Jacob.”

I folded my arms coldly,” How do you know my name?”

“Why did you let me follow you into the forest?” he raised an eyebrow questioningly.

I stumbled for a reply,” I don’t know...I was trying to – I was trying...”

I stared at him unable to say anything clearly. He slowly smiled and this expression more than anything else sent chills down my spine. Why would he smile?

“I know you need to be able to trust me, Havyn,” he said slowly,” and by the look on your face I can tell I am freaking you out. I have never seen you before, yet you look at me as though you’ve seen a ghost.”

I held a hand to my cheek self-consciously, “I have seen you. You are the boy in my nightmares.”

Jacob was now the one who seemed confused and his bright eyes darkened, “What?”

“I have nightmares, and you are always the boy who tries to save me. I knew your name was Jacob, even before you told me your name.” I watched him let this information sink in then asked,” Why are you here now and how do you know my name?”

I was beginning to tremble slightly in my fingers. Jacob immediately grabbed my left hand and held it gently as he spoke forcefully, “Please don’t be frightened. I am not here to hurt you. Did I ever hurt you in your dreams?”

His eyes searched mine and I slowly shook my head, “No, you were always the only thing that made sense, the only thing I could trust.”

Jacob squeezed my hand between his own, “Then will you listen to everything I have to say? I am not asking you to believe, only to listen. Can you do that?”

I hesitantly nodded my head in agreement and let him lead to me to a large rock lying nearby. We sat down as he began to talk.

“The first thing you need to know, Havyn, is not going be easy to understand.” He shuffled his feet before continuing, “I am not from here, or even from this time. I am from the past, from before the Great War. I was born on August 7, 1999. I grew up in the country once known as the Unites States. I can’t explain why you’ve seen me in your dreams. I don’t know what I would do or who I would have become when the war began, but I do know why I’ve been sent here and I know why I can’t go back.”

I could feel my hands gripping the rock under me, rubbing my nails raw, “So you are a time traveler?”

Jacob nodded, “Yes.”

“And you’ve been sent here to do what?”

“Well, technically, to save you, among other things,” he winked.

This took me back, “Save me from what?”

“Yeah, well, that will take longer to explain.” He leaned back against the rock, “The world is a lot bigger than this village, Havyn, and evil did not stop when the war ended. Your picture perfect life is not going to last.”

“I am only half able to believe you because of my nightmares.” I wanted to cry as feelings of fear touched my heart. I had less ability to walk as innocently as the other children. The nightmares had always stained my soul.  I didn’t believe in picture perfect, even though every day I lived it. Who could accept it when the night hours were so filled with terrors?

“I am not expecting you to get it right away.” He closed his eyes as if he was in pain himself, “I didn’t want to come at first. It was hard knowing the future, but not being able to show you.”

I felt my head spinning, “How do you know the future if you are from the past?”

He opened his eyes, “Because, you sent people back to us. They told us what will come, so I chose to come here. You need to know now, today, what the truth is.”

I closed my eyes. I could feel tears squeezing their way to the surface. The future had always been bright, always full of hope until now. The village I lived in was one of so many on the earth. Life was simple. We lived by rules and obeyed them to the letter.

There was no reason to refute them. They kept us safe. We were secure from the terrors of the past; there were no cars, no lights, no computers, no TVs and absolutely no weapons of any kind. No technology from the past had been carried over into the future.

We were creating perfection. Our elders told us this every Sunday morning in chapel, but in all our simple perfection no one could erase my nightmares. This was why I was still sitting on the rock, listening to Jacob.

I wiped away my tears and asked him, “How could I send anyone into the past? We don’t even have phones here.”

“Because it was ‘future’ you from the year 3000. You don’t live in a village anymore, Havyn. You are a soldier in an army of rebels who have uncovered a powerful government that has created and controlled all the villages since the Great War ended in 2040. The technology that has grown under cover and in secret is so far advanced that anything we had a hundred years before is completely obsolete. The ability for time travel is created in 2090 and many men and women have been sent back in time to repair the damages the Great War did to our world. You sent two men back to 2018. They found me and many others and convinced us of the truth. I was trained by them and taught on many things, but they were killed before we effectively recreated our own time machine. Only one person could go. I volunteered and came here. There is no way to get back.”

I had no choice but to accept what Jacob was saying, “Why did you come to me now instead of  further in the future?”

Jacob frowned, “Because the future is always changing, and not just the good guys have the ability to bend space and time.” His voice grew very deep and solemn,

“You are not the only one with nightmares, Havyn. There are 874 others who were born on the same day as you who are the same age and you are all going to be destroyed.”

I couldn’t breathe for a minute as I stared out into the trees. I could not see my village, but I could imagine it. It is immaculately green with little white cottages, blooming gardens and cobbled streets. Everyone would be preparing for the noon meal. The baker would be setting out fresh loafs in his front windows and the children would be picking ripe vegetables from the gardens. Could all of it really be meaningless?

I didn’t even blink as I replied, “And the nightmares? They have them too?”

He nodded, his eyes sad and dark.

“Why do they want us to be destroyed?” I asked.

“Because you will ask questions and you will keep looking for truth.”

I slid off the rock,” And this is a bad thing?”

He stood, brushing off his jeans, “No, it’s not. You must never stop. That is why I am here.” He suddenly jerked his head as though he heard something loud. I didn’t hear a thing.

“It’s begun. They are here.” He pulled something from under his shirt behind him. I gasped and stepped back, recognizing the object in his hands from the drawings in our history books. It was black and shiny and shaped like an L.

It was gun.

“No…this can’t be the way!” I whispered.

“I’m not going to kill anyone who is innocent, Havyn,” he frowned,” this is only for protection. I will shoot anything that tries to kill you.”

“What are we going to do?” I asked, watching him fiddle with the gun for a second and causing it to make a loud clicking noise.

“We are leaving your village. You must disappear completely in order for this to

work,” Jacob stood as if waiting for me to agree or make a decision.

“The boundaries,” I said softly, “we can’t cross the boundaries.”

He chuckled almost mockingly, “It’s all in your mind, Havyn. They are not real; nothing will happen if you step outside of them.”

He brushed past me, “Hurry.”

“Wait,” I grabbed his arm, halting him, “What of all the villages?”

“In two more years there will be no such thing,” Jacob replied, face downcast.

“I’m sorry Havyn, it was only a vain dream, it isn’t real. What you are about to see when I take you away from here will scare you. Not even your nightmares will be enough. I’m sorry. You have no idea how sorry.”

I felt my fingers involuntarily tighten around his arm, “How do I know you are not just another dream?”

He held out his hand, “Have you ever taken my hand and actually followed me in your dreams?”

I closed my eyes, breathing deeply and then opened them to still see Jacob standing there. I released his arm and slowly took his hand. My palm slid against his. It  felt warm and sticky. He was flesh and bone. There was no doubt.

Jacob grinned and began walking fast, pulling me after him, “We only have ten minutes before they know you are gone, maybe less.”

My breath quickened as we ducked deeper under the trees. A soft ping sounded near my face. I let out a cry as bark flew harshly against my cheek. Jacob shoved me forward and whispered fiercely in my ear, “Run! That was a bullet!”

I broke into a desperate sprint, zigzagging through the undergrowth with terrified breaths. It was just like the nightmares! I heard the sound of Jacob’s gun, louder and more abrupt. It fired once, then twice and then a third time. There was immediately more soft rapid return fire. More bark flew off the trees around my head and funnels of dirt erupted at my feet. I heard Jacob immediately behind me, feet pounding the earth

and breath heavy on my neck.

“Don’t look back!” he screamed,” We are almost there!”

I glanced forward and saw the wooden fence. It was the boundary. I skidded to a halt, but only found myself catapulted towards the fence as Jacob grabbed me from behind, “Jump!”

I felt the splintered wood dig into my knees as we both stumbled across and fell in a heap on ground that felt like loose gravel. I hit my head just above my left ear with hard crack! and pain cascaded down my body. It blinded my vision.

“Havyn!” I could hear Jacob shouting my name and pulling me to my feet. I squinted, vaguely seeing the outline of his face and a sky that was absolutely black. Starless. Only the moon hung like a fingernail scraping a blackboard.

And then I lost consciousness…

***

My parents threw a huge birthday party in the village gardens the year I turned eleven. I remember the satin white dress I wore with the green ribbons. I begged to wear green because I didn’t want to be like the other girls who wore pink. My mother had conceded with exasperation, complaining that I was too opinionated for my own good. I am sure I was, now that I think about it.

It is tradition for an eleventh birthday party to last all day in my village. Everyone stops what they are doing to celebrate. We gathered in the gardens and meadows all day eating, playing games and taking naps on colorful quilts across the emerald grass. I remember all the good things people said about me, reasons why they loved me and why I was going to do so well when I grew up. I remember all the gifts I received

and all the gifts I gave away. I remember all the song I sang to the other children.

But what I remember the most about my eleventh birthday was my very first nightmare. It happened right at midnight. It is seared in my mind like an ugly scar. That was the night I lost my innocence. Forever…

My dream consisted of three things: two men ripping up the village gardens with axes, my mother lying dead on our front porch, blooding streaming from her nose, and Jacob running from the forest begging me to come with him.

I always knew my dreams were more real than my parents would let me believe. I had too many questions for my teachers and too much imagination for my friends. Only a few people knew about my nightmares. It had to be secret, because it couldn’t be explained. My dreams were an imperfect horror in a perfect world. That was why I could believe Jacob when he showed up. I had been waiting for him for a long time.

Jumping over the boundary was more than just running away from an obvious enemy who were wielding weapons, as surreal as that sounded. When I landed on the ground opposite the boundary I knew had done something real for the first time in my life. 

***

Jacob brought me around within five minutes. I was bleeding from a cut behind

my ear and shaking from the rush of adrenaline.

“They didn’t follow us?” I asked incredulously, staring around in confusion.

There were indeed no stars in the sky and it seemed to be the dead of night. The wooden

fence stood only a few feet away, but I saw no forest, only a massive, jagged cliff.  Where did that come from?

Jacob was shaking his head. He helped me sit up, ”They are just security officers

doing their job. They won’t go past the boundaries any more then you would have two

hours ago.”

I winced as he touched my head, “Does it hurt?”

“Like hell,” I grinned. I’d always wanted to say that, “Am I hurt bad?”

He shook his head,” No, the bleeding has already stopped. Can you walk?”

I nodded and he helped me to my feet. Jacob’s gun was still in his right hand and I

caught myself staring at it. I wondered if he had hit any of the men chasing us. I didn’t ask.

“We have two hours until sunrise,” he began, “Only two. That’s enough time to make you disappear.”

He started walking along the fence line. I stumbled after him, “It’s so dark. Why?”

I vaguely saw his hand point to the sky,” We lost the stars 40 years ago. The sun only shines for six hours a day. The moon is almost gone too.”

I stared at the ghostly thin light of pale moon in the lower corner of the western sky. It looked nearly dead.

            “Hurry up,” he insisted. I saw his dim form circling a huge rock ahead. I reached Jacob just in time to see him climbing into some kind of oval object hovering above the ground. It was black and sleek with curved windows.

            “Get in,” he said, poking his head out and gesturing to the other side. One of the windows raised itself with a soft hiss and I saw an empty seat waiting for me. I quickly slipped in finding myself in what I could only guess was some kind of vehicle like those in the past, only this must be more far advanced than anything I had ever read about.

            “Strap yourself in,” Jacob gestured to a thin strap of material beside my right arm. I grabbed it and snapped the buckle into place. Green and red and white lights erupted in a clustered array on the dash in front of us. Jacob began pushing and pulling and flipping things so fast I couldn’t keep up.

            “It’s like a car, only we fly and it runs on air,” he grinned, “It won’t be that long of a ride.”

            We suddenly shot forward across the desert. My hand gripped my seat in fright. I felt my head spinning for little bit. I was sure Jacob would crash us in only a few seconds. I had never ridden anything so fast, except maybe horse.

            “Don’t look back,” Jacob said without warning. I glanced over at him, heat spreading across my face. What the heck did…?

            A sudden blazing light and explosion glared in our windows from behind. I started to spin around, but Jacob’s arm reached out holding me back,” You don’t want to do that. Please, Havyn. It’s better you don’t.”

            His eyes told me the truth of what I didn’t want to know. I sank into my seat

weeping, “The dreams were all true?”

            I felt Jacob shaking his head,” No, they were not…”

            “But…” I began, tears streaming uncontrollably.

“Havyn, don’t believe for a minute your dreams are true, do you understand me?”

He was gripping the wheel, as he spoke, with such force I was silent. The flames from behind reflected on both our faces through the windows. I slowly nodded,” ok.”

            I leaned my head against the window pane, softly crying. Jacob said nothing for a very long time. The desert slipped past us mile after mile.

            “Why did you come all this way to get me out?” I asked him finally,” Why me when there are so many others?”

            Jacob shrugged, “You were the one who sent men back to us. It seem only right that we pull you out first.”

            “I don’t want to die?” I whispered, still choked by tears.

            “I never said anyone was going to kill you,” he replied, and his voice suddenly grew very deep, “I’m sorry your village is gone, Havyn.”

This is my beloved, this is my friend...

I wrote one last word and set down the final wedding invitation. Night was falling. Outside the castle was silent, but inside the activity was not even close to ending. Bright lights, endless shining silk and many voices were swirling together in a klaidescope of color and sound. In two weeks my best friend was marrying the man of her dreams. It would be a fairytale wedding. The likes of which all girls dream of; I should know since I had put nearly all of my heart into it to make it perfect for her. I had arranged everything. A castle. Two hundred guests. China silk.

Tonight, as I set down the last handwriten highly embossed card and leaned back in my chair. I could only think of one thing....I hated this wedding. Closing my eyes two silent tears trickled down my cheek. I hated seeing the glow in her eyes and hearing the joy and hope in her voice. She was full of a happiness I knew I could not have. I hated being just the best friend. Needed but not wanted. I wanted to run far away and never return. Being a best friend was not enough and if I didn't release this tension I would die.

There were a dozen more things to do, but I jumped to my feet, tears beginning to flow freely. I stumbled out of my room and down the hall. The old castle buried in the picturesque heart of the Swiss Alps was a cold, stone edifice despite it's warm appearance. My bare feet thudded on the stone flooring as I disappeared down a flight of stairs to the first floor. I burst out into the cool night air. The gardens were full of a dozen workers who were hanging thousands of lights in the arbors and trees. I passed through them until I found a private alcove towards the back of the gardens. Gardens that looked out into the valley below. I crumpled to the earth weeping.

Was I really second best? Would I never have my own desires and significance? Would I always feel forgotten and pitied? It was never about this wedding, it was about my heart. Where ahd he gone? Was I truly not worth pursuing? Why had I been shown something so perfect and lovely, only for it to be torn from my hands? Would I be reminded every day of what I had lost and of what perhaps I never really had? Reminded of only what other would always possess?

Weeping bitterly and deep anguish I suddenly heard a familiar voice. Embarrassed and startled I glanced up. It was my father. His old, dear face staring down at me with concern. What was he doing here?

I jumped up throwing myself in his arms," Daddy?"

He pulled me close," I knew I would find you here," he whispered.

"How? Why ae you here?" I wiped my tears dry against his shirt.

"An old friend sent me," he strangely smiled lifting my face so I would meet his eyes.

I was confused as his fingers wiped a final tear from my cheek.

"Why are you crying, my child?"

I shook my head. It would hurt too deeply to explain.

"You've been living someone you are not," he said after I refused to reply," I am taking you away."

"Daddy, the wedding is in two weeks," I told him, my reaction instant.

He chuckled," They don't need you , you are wanted somewhere else."

"Daddy..." my voice trailed as he grabbed my hand. The garden tipped, then swirled, then disappeared.

"Daddy, don't do this!" I screamed, my voice was lost in the vacuum.

Then we were standing on a road winding through a valley. I know we were far away from the Swiss Alps. My father was still holding my hand. I glanced down and saw our clothes had changed to the flowing robes of a medieval world.

"He's waiting for you," my father nudged me towards the sie of the road.

My tears from only a few minutes before were all gone. What was happening? I was confused? My heart began racing.

"Daddy?"

"I heard your cries all the way through the miles and now through time. You've been through the heartache long enough. It is time."

He smiled the strangest smile," Listen, do you hear it?"

I cocked my head, heart still racing. A voice on the wind began singing. I knew the voice. My breath grew shallow.

"He's waiting," my father whispered in my ear.

I couldn't breathe or think for several minutes. Then suddenly regained conscienceness and spun only to find my father gone.

The voice continued singing. Shaking from head to foot, I stepped towards it. I could already see a garden through the trees.

It couldn't be him. It couldn't be him. My heart continued racing. I slipped between the trees and ducked around a small fountain. The voice was still singing. My hands grew sweaty. I had changed from a broken hearted bridesmaid to nervous, anxious young lover in a matter of only a few minutes.

The garden was huge and very confusing I walked for ten very long minutes listening to the voice singing.

Where was he?

My feet quickened in expectation. I ran headlong into a small alcove only to gasp in surprise when I saw the figure kneeling in the dirt. He rose and our eyes met exactly at the same time. Dirt fell from his knees and my eyes filled with tears.

It was him. The man I loved. The man who had disappeared. The man I thought never loved me.

His eyes drew me in and his gentle quiet smile made my kneeds shake. I instantly wanted to run into his arms.

A new emotion however instantly took me over. Anger. Hurt. Rejection.

"Where have you been?" I accused.

His face softened even further as he dusted dirt from his palms," Everywhere. I am preparing a place for you."

"Why didn't you tell me," I let out a sob.

"I've told you every day you have breathed."

"No..." I shook my head," you disappeared."

"Is that what you think?" he reached out touching my cheek. My heart lept...remembering.

"I never left you, you ran from me. So I have pursued you in absence. Allowing the emptiness draw your heart back to me."

I began weeping. I could not remember this. Surely not. My life had ended the day I woke up and he was gone. Had I already chosen something that took me from his presence?

"You forgot you were a bride." he whispered," You forgot to wait. You covered yourself in shame. It took you from my side. But, you are my bride. I promised you to myself from the day you were born."

I wept harder.

"It can't be true. If it is, it is too late. I am not good enough to be a bride."

His hands slipped down to mine," You are too good for me, beautiful one. Every hurt and rejection you have endured has torn my heart like knife. No more. Your father brought you to me, because you are desperate. Even your shame and disbelief cannot silence your cries.

My head fell against his chest.

"Stay with me," his lips touched my cheek.

I swallowed my tears quieting, realizing with a heavy awareness how real this moment was.

Anger melted in the presence of his gaze. My hands slipped from his and wrapped around waist, pressing myself close to him.

"Say it to me again..." I said.

"You are my bride," he kissed my hair," you belong to me. Forever, and ever and ever."

The Wilderness - Chapter One

Chapter One: (Eighteen years before)

All was silent in the village. It was a peaceful and serene afternoon, filled with normal activities, related to preparations for the daily, evening Gathering. The colorful circular village was one of the largest in the universe, inhabiting nearly fifty-thousand souls. The multi-layered lights pulsated from the thousands of square homes, surrounding the central dome-like structure...the Thrall. Straight and winding paths connected the buildings, their borders lined with thick flowers. It’s residents roamed about on these paths, which were in places wide enough to be called streets. Through gardens and doorways they could be seen discussing things in soft or often loud tones, when occasion warranted. The women sang or danced about, keeping an eye on their ever rambunctious children, who ran here and there playing their childlike games. The fields and meadow surrounding the great city were dotted with figures; delightful laughter echoed across the open spaces.

The colored forest, emanating it’s varying hues like a pulsating light itself, gave no cause for alarm. It was quiet and calm. Only the playful singing of birds could be heard.

A young mother walked down one of the paths near the edge the village, heading towards the arched gates that opened out into the fields. Her long dark hair fell across her shoulders, complementing a pair of flashing green eyes. A toddling three-year-old girl clung to the woman’s left hand, her childish chatter bringing a warm smile to her mother’s lips. Another child, nearly an infant, was balanced on her hip, sucking on a thumb. The baby was also a girl. Dark curls encrusted her tiny head.

“Smell the roses, Valerie,” the mother encouraged the three-year-old.

Valerie released her mother’s hand and bent forward sticking her nose directly inside a huge blooming red rose.

“Elyon! Elyon!” Valerie exclaimed, jumping to her feet and clapping her chubby little hands, obviously delighted by the pleasing aroma.

“Yes, my love, it is Elyon. Everything you see, feel, hear and smell is Elyon.”

“More, Mama, more,” the toddler hopped up and down losing her balance.

Her mother instantly caught her hand, setting Valerie back on her feet.

“Careful, Valerie. Lets show Rachelle the fields now.”

Valerie clung to her hand, big wide eyes, very much like her mother’s, glanced with a pugnacious twinkle up into the sky. The baby, Rachelle, cooed softly, her own green eyes watching her sister.

“Sarah!”

The woman turned around at the sound of her name. A tall strong young man was striding towards her, just down the path a ways. Another little dark headed girl, several years older than Valerie, bounced on his broad shoulders. Her hands clung to his hair, as she grinned from ear to ear. Sarah’s lips parted at the familiar sight of her beloved husband and eldest daughter.

“Caleb...where have you been?” she teased, her smile turning to a playful smirk,“ dancing in the Thrall, no doubt?”

His returning smirk confirmed her suspicions as he planted quick kiss on her up turned lips.

“You are intoxicating,” he grinned, mischievously.

Sarah quickly kissed him back, not at all self-conscious at their children’s presence.

It was the Great Romance...the very life that gave them breath. Love was never concealed here in the colored forest.

Valerie wrapped her arms around Caleb’s legs, squealing to be picked up. He chuckled, eyes dropping from Sarah’s and reached down swinging Valerie up into the air. She and her sister both squealed, Valerie in delight, her sister in fear.

“Daddy! I’m gonna fall!”

“No, you’re not, Keira,” he reassured his eldest, settling Valerie on his hip, one hand stilling holding Keira’s legs in place across his chest.

“Where were you headed off to, my dear,” he asked, glancing back at his wife.

A smile still tugging at her lips at the comical sight of Caleb, with the girls hanging off of him in every direction, replied,” The fields. Rachelle, as you know has started crawling and I think she would love the flowers that grow there.”

Sarah kissed her baby’s soft cheek.

“Excellent! Let’s go,” Caleb enthused, brown eyes gazing at her with the deepest affection.

The little family hurried down the path and through the gates, Caleb bouncing up and down in stride, to make his daughters scream in delight.

Finding a quite thick patch of daises that grew across the southern meadows, just along the tree line, Caleb and Sarah set their daughters down. Valerie and Keira immediately set off on a tumbling game of hide-and-seek with their father. Their little bodies could easily be hidden, when they crawled; concealed by the thickly blossoming ivory and purple daisies. Caleb pretended to be astounded at their cleverness and thrashed about after them, causing them to giggle in uproar and then jump on top of him. He fell, allowing them tackle him to the ground.

Meanwhile, Sarah set Rachelle down, letting the child crawl on the soft, luscious grass and then seated herself crossed legged, waving to several friends, other young women, who were taking a walk several yards away. They were laughing at Caleb and the girls.

Sarah’s eyes returned to Rachelle. The baby was sucking her hand, also watching her father and older sisters with marked interest. “You’re not quite old enough yet, darling,” Sarah murmured, brushing her fingertips through the child’s downy curls.

Butterfly darted across the baby’s face. She gurgled, one little hand groping towards it, her eyes wide.
Rachelle laughed and then swiveled her head back towards the rest of her family. Caleb now had Keira on the ground, tickling her unmercifully and Valerie was attempting to climb on his back. Keira’s bubbling laughter echoed through the meadow.

“Pinch him in the back, Val!” she hollered at her second-born. Valerie glanced back at her mother as if unsure if that was a safe action. Her green eyes twinkled mischievously.

Feeling movement from Rachelle, Sarah turned away, not seeing if Valerie heeded her advice or not. Rachelle was just hiking up her rear and attempting to crawl through the flowers. Her little hand grasping the swaying blooms as they bent to the earth. Caleb’s holler of protest, was answer enough of Valerie’s intentions.

Sarah fell back against the flowers herself, enjoying the sheer blissfulness of it all. In a couple more hours the Gathering would begin. As always she looked forward to it. This was Elyon’s love, the delight of his people.

She didn’t even hear the screams when they first erupted, nearly one-hundred yards deep in the forest. Sarah’s eyes were closed, listening to the familiar sounds of her family around her. But her eyes flew open when Rachelle’s tiny body bumped against hers as the baby tried to crawl up onto her mother.
Sarah giggled, sitting up and pulling Rachelle into her lap.

“What is it, Chelle? Tired of the daisies already?” That was the baby’s treasured nickname, encouraged by Valerie who could not speak her sister’s full name without slurring it.

Rachelle’s eyes gazed up at Sarah’s wide and unblinking. Full of innocence.

Sarah heard a distant scream. Her eyes flew up scanning the field. Everything appeared to be as it should. Terror was not something she would have recognized. So the strange noise confused her. It clearly came from a human throat, but who would make such a sound?

Caleb was now crawling along the ground, with both girls riding on top of him, kicking their legs to make him move faster. He didn’t appear to have heard the noise.

Then there it was again....a clear audible shriek, filled with some kind of sensation that sent chills racing down her spine. The voice that followed, was shouting an inaudible stream of words. It came directly from the forest. Sarah froze. It was her brother’s voice.

Daniel’s voice.

“Caleb?” He didn’t appear to hear her, because of the loud, giggling voices of the girls.

The screams intensified, and now she could distinctly see the familiar form of her sixteen-year-old brother racing through the trees towards them, waving his arms frantically.

“Caleb?” she repeated, much louder, alarm in her voice. Daniel would often run, he was known for his unmatched speed, but the way in which he ran was not normal, or in anyway recognizable. If she could imagine what it was like to run for your life, that was exactly the picture she was seeing from the scene of her rapidly approaching brother.

Caleb heard her voice and the screams now. He sat up, both girls sliding off his back in a giggling heap.
Sarah jumped to her feet, holding Rachelle close.

“Caleb, something isn’t right,” she said, her voice filling with intensity. She hardly understood what she spoke, only that what she was saying was the truth.

“Is that Daniel?” he said, stepping forward.

Sarah didn’t have to nod as her brother burst through the tree-line heading straight towards them. His face stricken with the most indescribable expression she had ever seen. His screams were now discernible words. His blue eyes so wide, she could see white.

The people across the meadows were all staring at him, stirring uneasily.

“Run...they’re coming! The Shataiki! They’re attacking!”

Sarah’s heart jumped to her throat, not understanding the words he spoke.

The Shataiki? Of course not...what nonsense. Their enemies would never break the rules. They would never cross the river. But Daniel’s eyes spoke the truth...there was no denying it. He rushed nearly into Caleb.

“Run! What are you waiting for? They’re killing everyone in their path.! Hurry, see the cloud?” he pointed towards the south through the trees, anxiously gripping Caleb’s arm.

Sarah and Caleb’s eyes both swung too where he pointed.

Nothing.

No, wait, there did seem to be a dark haze. Then she smelled a stench, born in on the wind. Nothing in the colored forest smelled like that. It was evil through and through.

Sarah panicked,” Caleb the girls!” she screamed rushing towards her children.

But Caleb and Daniel were already ahead of her, scooping Valerie and Keira into their arms.

“Run to the Thrall!” her husband shouted, holding Keira tightly against his chest. All three raced towards the village.

More screams erupted from the forest behind them and Sarah slightly turned to see several more people stumble into the valley. Two were covered in blood.

Horrific shrieks followed as everyone began running towards the village.Then Sarah began to hear the Shataiki’s screeches. It could be nothing else, because they were so unfamiliar, yet so frightening, in a way she had never felt before. She felt a shadow and glanced back again, gulping in horror. The haze was now a thick black cloud, hovering above the forest still maybe half a mile back.

“We’re not going to make it!” she wheezed to Caleb, noticing the speed with which the cloud approached.

“Run, don’t look back!” he shouted.

Thirty seconds later they were approaching the gates, the frantic mass of people congregating there was already beginning to clog up the entry.

“Shataiki! Shataiki!” everyone was screaming.

“We have children!” Caleb shouted, pushing his way through. The struggling crowd parted.

Daniel and Sarah followed and some how they made it through the gates, but the streets were just as congested.

The Shataiki’s screams were now just overhead. The enemy’s cloud was beginning to darken the sun.

Caleb swung around face to the skies, his eyes still shocked and frantic. The cloud was a writhing swarm of tangled, feathered bodies. Red eyes glared down with hate upon them. Sarah’s screams were frozen into silent horror.

Keira was also clinging to Caleb in frightened silence. Valerie was sobbing. Rachelle was wailing. Sarah didn’t even try to soothe her.

Daniel shoved the door to the nearest house open, screaming at them to take cover. Confusion swirled around them, as the people blindly plunged for any kind of safety, the majority not even aware of what they were running from. Sarah stood next to Caleb, unable to move, her face locked on the skies.
Daniel was still shouting at them, people were already brushing past him for safety in the house.

Sarah shrieked as the first Shataiki dove to the ground like a bomb attacking three young girls in the middle of the street. His talons digging into their flesh...ripping and clawing.

The crowd surged forward in fear at this, as within seconds more Shataiki followed, tearing through the people. Sarah felt Caleb pulled away from her in the frenzied crowd.

“Caleb!” she screamed, reaching for him. He had disappeared.

Another Shataiki attacked someone only two yards away from her. They fell writhing in a pool of blood.

She and Rachelle would be their next prey.

A hand suddenly grabbed her arm and she felt herself pulled across the street and through a doorway.

It was Daniel.

He slammed the door shut and turned to face her. She was intelligibly screaming at him about Caleb. But he held her back, and scooped up Valerie from the floor where he had left her. About ten other people sat in frightened huddles throughout the room.

“Down to the basement!” one of the men ordered,” They’ll get through the windows!”

Feeling numb with despair, Sarah followed everyone down the steps to the cool, underground storage room. Someone screamed from the back of the group, as something smashed through the window. Sarah heard a shriek as she was shoved towards the back of the room, against the wall. Scuffling followed, shouting and then the door to the stair slammed shut and the lock slid in place. Everyone was in.

One man stood with blooding dripping from a deep gash across his forehead. A Shataiki had dove into the window just before he’d left the room and attacked him. But now they were safe.

Daniel set down beside his sister, cradling a whimpering Valerie. Her head was buried in his chest.

“Caleb...” Sarah moaned.

“Perhaps he hid in another house,” Daniel tried to reassured as did the others.

But deep down in her heart Sarah knew nothing would ever be the same again. Someone had crossed over the river into the black forest, someone had eaten the forbidden fruit and someone had gone against Elyon.

But who? Why? How could someone desire to do such a horrible act?

Sarah’s cries mingled with her child’s as she buried her face in Rachelle’s back and cried. Darkness washed over her spirit.

Death was here. The people’s blood was defiling everything it touched.

And in her heart she knew Caleb and Keira were gone.

A Tale of the Wilderness...via Ted Dekker's desert.

~ Prologue ~

The sun had sunk below the desert skyline, its last dying rays shooting up like jagged fingers across the deepening purple western sky. The chilly night air was already beginning to set in, beginning with a light breeze along the desert floor. The scattered fires of the small encampment inside the narrow canyon were burning brightly. It's inhabitants settling in for the night. A lone figure sat on a log at the furtherest fire out, near the mouth of the canyon, absently staring into the flames. The bright light danced across a well shaped tan face, and deep green eyes of a young woman. Her chin was resting in her cupped hands and she was slightly bent forward, causing her long, dark hair to fall across her straight, strong shoulders in abundant waves. A sword lay near her feet in a leather scabbard and shield leaned up against the log beside her. Her clothing was like that of all the Guard...leather battle moccasins, which reached half-way up her calves, a short leather skirt and leather armor covered her torso. But her arms were left bare. The thigh guards she had discarded, lay several feet away in the dust. All were made from a hardened leather, that deflected blows quite easily. A scar ran down one of her arms, vaguely visible in the flickering fire light. She was obviously a hardened warrior.
But the young woman's thoughts were far from war or anything of that sort. She closed her eyes fighting against the voices in her head.

It was for love you were created.

That was Elyon's voice quiet and comforting.

I cannot love what is evil.

But you do love the evil...you are sick, disgusting. Just as they are.

That was the voice that tormented her.

No...a tear slipped down her smooth cheek, I only asked to see, Elyon, I didn't expect this. Why I am tormented?

It is only in you that the answers will be found. What choice will you make?

She felt warmth surrounding her as Elyon spoke, but still coldness clung to her heart.

Was it for this that I was born?

No answer.

Her eyes flew open and she hugged herself against the chill. The silence strangely gave her rest.

Remember.

She cringed...remember? Why would she want to do that?

Elyon, please...

Silence.

She buried her face in her knees, softly beginning to weep. Remembering hurt to badly, it stung to deep. But slowly the memories did begin to come and she could do nothing to stop it. She began to remember, remember better times...before her struggle within herself, before death, before the desert...before...

The Hero...

(During worship one sunday morning a couple weeks ago God gave me this scene that has run over and over in my mind for days now...)

The wounds were deep and gushing blood. Agony was beginning to blind the strength of my sight; in my weakness the sword slipped from my sweaty palms. I fell to my knees on the trampled battlefield, weeping in anguish and despair. I was giving up.

The enemy was nearly upon me. I could feel his hot breath on my neck, taste the sulfuric aroma of his deathly presence. Surrounding me the battle was raging, the sound of its violence, deafening. Every warrior was hotly engaged and the pain-riddled wails of the dying pierced my spirit with every cry. It heightened my own rising fears, as the enemy drew closer.

I refused to look behind, but closed my eyes as a terrible pressure filled my shaking chest. It was only a matter of seconds.

Then a voice screamed my name. I don't know how I could even hear it through all the noise, yet I did. My eyes flew open. I knew Who it was. Hope raced through my heart. And I saw Him, bursting out of raging mass of warriors He came. There was no mistaking the white horse or the rider who sat in the saddle. I had not even cried out for rescue, yet He was still coming, at breakneck speed across the battlefield.

The hope that surged through me also heightened the awareness of the pain that held my body in a vice-like grip. I struggled to reach for my sword once more. Behind me the breath of the enemy was growing hotter.

I begin weeping bitterly, for I was sure I would die before the horse and Rider would reach me. I sank back once more, closing my eyes against what I thought was final reality. I had never felt so alone in my life, so rejected, even as the horse's galloping hooves shook the earth under me.

I was nearly sick with the putrid stench of death. It was sinking in on every side, wrapping me in its cloak. Cold, hard, bitter fingers brushed me back. Then the voice shouted me name again, and it was so surprisingly near my eyes opened once more, even as a rush of wind blew over my head. I heard a strangled growl and immediately the coldness receded, the hard touch disappeared and the stench was gone. I still did not look behind me as only one thing filled my vision.

The horse and Rider standing above me. His eyes were blazing from the heat rage of battle. They locked with mine and immediately softened into tender pools of mercy. I had heard the cry of His heart when He screamed my name, I knew His only thought at the moment was me. The intensity of it made me weep, yet the urgency of the hour cause His first words, to neither calm my tears nor softened my fears.

"Grab Your sword," He said, reaching one hand down to me.

I didn't know if I had enough strength to respond, yet one hand managed to grip the weapon's hilt buried in the dirt, and the other grasped His fingers. At the touch, His hand tightened around mine. At His touch, within seconds, my body filled with warmth, spilling out through my hand and arm, straight to my heart. I didn't have to look to know my wounds were healing within themselves. I was still covered in blood.

He pulled me into the saddle behind Him, with little effort. One of my arm slipped around Him, as I buried my wet face into His back, inhaling the familiar scent of His presence. I was safe, secure, strong once more...

"Take me away from here," I whispered.

There was a pause before He answered," It is not time yet," he replied," We going back into the battle."

My heart skipped a beat, fear pricking my mind once again. I thought of all the possible dangers going back into the battle would bring. I didn't want to fight anymore, I just wanted rest and peace.

"I can't," I confessed, holding tighter to Him. I wanted to be with Him, for always, like He promised. Yet, even here with Him now, the threat of battle made it seem as though He could be taken from me. The thought was frightening. Glancing up I saw the battle was moving away from us. We could easily turn back, escape, return to the battle on another day...we could return to His fortress where there was safety and peace.

Reading my thoughts He spoke," Do not fear, I am with You," He squeezed my hand holding Him," Stay with me."

He was asking, not telling me too. I realized then that I could easily slip off the horse, and now healed of my wounds, find my way back the fortress. But to do that, I would have to do it alone. No matter what I decided He was returning to the battle. I would lose something if I left Him now. I would lose everything...

"I will go where You go," I said softly in His ear, even though my voice shook.

To be without Him in battle or out of battle was too great a loss. He wanted me with Him, and realizing this I could never jump off the white horse.

I felt a deep chuckle ripple through His chest at my words. At the sound my fears melted.

"Make your sword ready," he said, laughter subsiding.

Only a slight tremble ran through my body as I raised the sword a little higher, gripping it tightly.

The dark horizon was blacker than it had been before, the battle was no better, but staring over His shoulder into the horror, I felt peace and rest wash over me. His presence was enough. I didn't have to be in a fortress to be secure. His touch was enough. His warmth.

The horse then lunged forward, carrying us both back into that darkness.